Closing this Blog

Hi wandering lurker! I am going to delete this blog soon - you can read these posts and more at my full-time cyber abode, Chief Executive Mom.

Thanks for visiting!

A quick Personality Test

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Warnock's Challenge

Andrew Warnock issued a challenge to the "intrepid bloggers" out there. Here are my musings . . .

Whenever I hear people discuss submission, humility and servanthood, I always think of Psalty's Praise 4 with "Charity Church Mouse" who sings "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, learn to be the servant of all." That song for some reason has echoed throughout my life, even in periods of rebellion, doubt and despair. The times when I am somehow wrested free from self-preoccupation and awakened to needs of those around me bring a pure joy and freedom, an amazing feeling that I could have done nothing greater to please my Savior. Recently I heard a well-traveled speaker comment that she felt far closer to the heart of God sitting among, holding and reading to a group of Liberian poverty-stricken orphans than she ever had teaching or writing. There does indeed seem a special "look" of favor and blessing upon those who have been humbled to serve the Lord and others according to His Word (Is. 66:2).

I often hear Christians say that if we humble ourselves for the expectation of a reward, then we have not truly humbled ourselves; it is somehow impure even though reward is promised (Matt. 23:11-12). We are somehow supposed to forget the reward in the moment of humble service. I have also heard John Piper call that blasphemy. If Christ endured the cross for the joy set before him, is it not blasphemy to suppose that I could do better than Christ? That I could suffer humiliation without doing it for the hope of reward set before me?

As a woman, I was made in the image of God with man (Gen. 1:27). The image of God is incomplete without both genders of the human race. If 'man' alone bore God's image and yet it was not good for man to be alone, and how could the image of God be anything not good (2:18)? But "in the image of God He created him; male and female." Adam cried of Eve, "This is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh." (2:23) Man is prior, just as the Father is prior to the Son and the Spirit who proceeds from Him, and yet just as within the trinity, male and female are also one in bearing the image of God. Both the unity and hierarchical order were part of the perfect creation before the fall.

The deception of woman and the sin of man brought about the fall of all humanity and creation, causing woman to resent the order in which she had been made. Order became an issue of resentment, pride, power and rule rather than community, fellowship and reflection of the image of God. The introduction of sin and depravity, of corruption and deception, has brought all kinds of confusion, pain and evil into societal relationship. A confusion which we will not wholly escape until we see the Lord return in glory to set all things aright. The doctrines of deserved condemnation and submission perhaps require the most grace and spiritual discernment to receive and understand. I see the "carnal man" in our modern culture (both in others and in myself) strongly resist these two teachings of scripture.

Submission in the home and in the church is not a matter of law, of discerning and delineating certain codes of conduct to follow, of crusading to make sure that no woman technically "teaches" in any kind of church capacity. The law has been fulfilled and its bonds have been loosed from us. Submission becomes a matter of "spirit and truth". Was it right when Deborah led Israel as a judge and to war? Perhaps not in God's original ideal order of things, but when no other man would gird up his loins in leadership, she was justified and blessed with success, though to the shame of Barak. We do well when obsess not with the actions of our neighbor, but look to our own spirit to see if we lead by being a servant, if we demonstrate righteousness to the lost through our Christ-like humility. Is a woman as likely to resist the teaching of submission and male headship if those men who represent it follow Philippians 2:3, demonstrating to her that they regard her as more important than themselves? The doctrine then becomes adorned, not with power play and rule, but with love and healing.

As I have come to better know my humble, glorious Savior, I understand more deeply the truth that "it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression." (1 Tim. 2:14) I see and understand that in the way my Creator formed me, my own emotional-relational make up leaves me as weaker prey to deception. Indeed, I have even become deeply grateful for this way in which I was formed, as well as for the hedge of protection my husband provides me with. I am grateful for the strength and blessings that come from my relational sensitivity, and grateful for the ways in which my husband keeps me from deception or from being exploited. I find freedom to be what I am, to use my strengths, and freedom from the vulnerability I would have without his loving headship. I am blessed to experience part of the godly partnership exemplified by Priscilla and Aquila whose ministry was so united in the image of man before the fall that they are usually mentioned within the same breath.

Not all women need to be married (1 Cor. 7). Not all women need to be at home raising children. There is no law for such things. Yet I long for women to be freed from the prison of seeing home life and motherhood as dull and tedious, as confinement and limitation. Indeed, my main blog is devoted entirely to this longing. Titus 2, "encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home," provides me with inspiration and hope. Henri Nouwen writes, "When we say 'I wish I were home' we express a longing for that intimate place that offers us a sense of belonging. Even though may people suffer much from conflicts at home, . . . the word 'home' continues to carry with it a warm love and remains one of the most evocative symbols for happiness. The Christian faith even calls us to experience life as 'going home' and death as 'coming home at last'." I aspire to be as Lois and Eunice, providing a home and upbringing that creates sincere faith in my children and in all those whom I invite within its walls. This is a wonderful, rich, creative, never-dull calling and I pray that by teaching the truths of submission, headship and family not with law but with love, graciousness, humility and joy that we as a church might reverse this century's general, assumed disdain and belittling of the inescapably primary role of women - homemaker.

My genuine compassion and empathetic grief goes out to women who suffer under the headship of cruel, arrogant, cold, or otherwise very difficult men. Submission becomes a bitter pill indeed to those placed beneath abusive, unloving headship. Whether women, children or 'slaves', all those who encounter the teaching of submission in sin-filled circumstance face a difficulty much greater than I have yet known. And here I refer to the clarification of Piper mentioned before. I cannot pretend to imagine the pain and hurt experienced by those ruled with an intimate iron hand, but I know the promises of my Lord and I know that He is faithful. I know that when He promises that the humiliation of discipleship on earth will be followed with indescribable exaltation, it is true. I know that when He shocks us by saying that it is better to serve, that He speaks truth. I know that when He cries, blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the gentle, blessed are the merciful, blessed are the peacemakers, blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for they will inherit a blessing too great to understand, I know that we can live by these promises. I know that He is mighty enough to sustain us and even cause us to "rejoice and be glad."

Submission is not easy, for man, woman or child, and we will fail in it if we seek to teach it and follow it out of duty. We submit to authorities and to one another not because it is our duty but because it is our hope and we pray the the Spirit will strengthen us and fill us with "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; for against such things there is not law." (Gal. 5:22-23)

Free Will and sovereignty

Today the Boar's Head Tavern is having a little discussion on election and free will. I find Jim Nicholson's post very wise. I have stood on both classic sides of the issue, Armenian and Calvinist, and wrestled with it earnestly. The last year I have finally come to peace with what I honestly see as a paradox (Thank you, Kierkegaard), a necessary paradox, much as the incarnation and the trinity are incomprehensible truths that we hold firmly. Open theism removes that paradox in favor of free will and in the process, God as God is lost. What I would call extreme Calvinism removes the paradox in favor of God's election and in the process, humanity is lost. (I would not lump all Calvinists in this description.)

Ultimately, the 'problem' is the incomprehensibility of God Himself and two of His defining attributes: omnipotence and omniscience. God by definition (the philosophical definition I accept) if wholly Other. That is what makes Him God. He is the unmoved mover, the first absolute cause, that which makes this world and life and creation understandable but then is of Himself, beyond our reason. All creation points toward Him, yet nothing presents or defines Him. Creation indicates the existence of God, His power and His presence. According to Romans, it is obvious! Yet, how He is the unmoved mover is utterly incomprehensible. How He is sovereign over everything is completely beyond the scope of our finite mind.

Clearly, I also have a will. I make choices, all day, every day. A theology that denies an authentic human will is truly an ivory tower imagination with no grounding in reality, much less the Bible. The Bible speaks of human choices, responsibility and urges action and accountability. Our theology must allow for choice. (It is not in my interest or time allowance to discuss the "free" qualifier of choice.) But if God is utterly sovereign and omnipotent, how can I have a choice? If I act, He has chosen to allow it. He is the one with the ultimate control.

Here is the position that has brought me great peace; God is totally sovereign and I make choices. The Bible is clear on God's omnipotence; I see it everywhere in creation. He is all powerful and awesome. I also make choices. I make choices concerning not only dinner but my faith in God. Both truths are very, very real to me. Exactly how they fit together? Mystery! Paradox! Glory! Praise God that reality does not fit inside my little pin brain! I have gone from being troubled by the issue to joyful about it.

However, in my life, teaching, counseling, and in my faith, I look towards God's sovereignty as ultimate, thinking very little regarding my own choices or the choices of others. For good reason did John say, "But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men." (2:24). It gives little benefit to concern ourselves much with human will, for it is perhaps the most fickle, unreliable, aggravating realities we deal with. I have several in my life that I love deeply who struggle greatly with drugs, addictions, neurosis, and altogether terrible life decisions. I will completely despair if I live by a theology that emphasizes free will to even the smallest diminution of God's loving sovereignty. In my own life, healing has come by a gracious hand reaching down to pull me out of the mire. I will live by His sovereignty because it is the most reliable, hopeful, powerful reality I can rest in. Yes, we make choices. How that fits in with God's sovereignty, I have no earthly idea, really. And that is fine with me. There are many mysteries in life that we must live with. When we trust that God is good and He is sovereign, those mysteries make this world a wondrous place to live.

A letter I may never send . . .

The following letter has been swirling through my mind constantly for the past 24 hours. I have written it at least 5 times mentally and so I decided to put it down on 'paper', though I am hesitant to send it. Who am I to critique a pastor? What do I know of his heart, struggles or intentions? However, it is again something that rings so true I must somehow cry out.

Dear Pastor,

Your sermon Sunday moved me deeply. Your vulnerable confession to the church concerning your own personal financial commitment to the Great Investment especially stirred my heart. It grieved me to hear my own pastor apparently struggle with guilt, with what I believe you described as a haunting thought or feeling, that though you worked to give 40% of you income, still you feel that you did not have a totally pure heart before God, that you looked out for your own first. I appreciate and admire how honestly you shared with the congregation. I see that through the challenges of this year, you have been sincerely endeavoring to lead your flock as Nehimiah, getting dirty with the troops, leading by example, not considering yourself above the rest. The pressures of the Great Investment financial shortfall, as well as a turning point in the growth and direction of the church must have you and the elder board stretched and weary.

In truth, that is why I write you; To encourage you. My husband and I have observed the incredible focus the church has had as we strive to finish well what we had begun. With all the focus on leadership and commitment, which are good and wonderful, godly goals, there seems to be missing an element of grace, divine grace which there is no room for in the endeavors of a corporation, but which proves essential in the endeavors of His church. So I write to hopefully give you a breath of grace amidst all the pressures and focus of this season in our church.

You spoke Sunday of the widow's mite. How powerfully you described the total, radical offering she brought to the Lord! What a standard of giving the Lord has! I was reminded of the sermon on the mount. Religious men of the day, such as the pharisees and that famous rich young ruler, sought to keep the law of God. The law of God was a list, a lengthy, difficult list, of rules and standards for right living. In seeking righteousness, don't we all so easily make for ourselves religious lists that we believe, if we work hard enough, we can complete and feel satisfied as "good" Christians! However Christ came and raised the bar! He said, you think you have kept the law and are justified, because you have not killed another? I say that if you think hatred against your brother even once for a second, you have murdered him! You think you have not committed adultery, because you have not touched another? I say, if you have a flash of lust in your heart for another you have committed adultery! Christ showed us that the standards of God are impossible! The standard of the law does drive us to despair, for if we are honest with ourselves and we know that we can in no way possibly attain it.

So it is with the widow's mite. Christ says, you think that you have kept the law and pleased God because you have given 10% or because you have rung the trumpets with your extra? I say, you must give all that you have and consider it rubbish to meet God standard. All you have is His? How can you withhold any? An impossible standard. And the rich young ruler went away sad. And many Christians despair trying to meet the standard because the standard is right and because we want to please God.

So in your sermon, I was moved with grief; grieved that my pastor seemed to be under the impossible burden of the law and carrying about what sounded to me like a yoke of guilt for not being able to do the impossible. We look at God's law concur with it in our heart, we see that it is good and we want to follow it and yet we do what we do not want to do! We cannot reach the standard! Who will save me from this body of death, wretched sinner that I am? Praise be to God for Jesus! (Romans 7)

This where the Gospel comes, with all its joy and glory! It is not something for once upon a time when I heard the Romans road and said the sinner's prayer. The Gospel is vital for me today, for me tonight, for me tomorrow, for I constantly fall short and I desperately need the sweet water of grace to refresh my soul. I scorn the cross when I lose my joy trying to reach the impossible standard that He shed His blood to fulfill for me.

It cannot be but providential that I recently heard another sermon on giving that has haunted me for weeks. In his video, The Blazing Center, John Piper speaks on 2 Cor. 9:7 where Paul states "Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." God loves a cheerful giver! Amazing? As we have moved from being under the law to now being under grace, so in our lives we move from duty and compulsion or obligation to delight. What haunts me most from this sermon is the most concise, profound statement on the spiritual life I have ever heard; Piper said that it took him so long to figure out where the battle of the Christian life was. It is not with duty; will I do the right thing? Will I by will power do what is required of me? That is law and we lose the battle before we even begin. No, the battle is in the heart with delight! What makes me glad? Does it make me glad to give to the Lord? Do I enjoy saving my funds and searching out how God might have me use them for His kingdom? That is where the battle is. What makes me glad? God loves a cheerful giver for He looks glorious when we truly enjoy and delight in Him.

Truly, I have no way of knowing if I have spoken truth and encouragement, or if I understood the sermon, your own heart and the events of the church wrongly. I sincerely apologize if it is the latter.

Sincerely in the love of Christ,

Annie Crawford

Preface to the Motherwise Critique

2 Corinthians 5:13-15 - For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are of sound mind, it is for you. ¹⁴ For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; ¹⁵ and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

I have poured over, read, re-read, and agonized over every line in the Motherwise: Freedom for Mothers women’s study. This book contains some considerable difficulties theologically, although she remains within the limits of orthodoxy. I can honestly say that the average woman will most likely have a better understanding of life in Christ after reading this book. As a result of doing this study, I see women encouraged in their faith and more obediant to the Word. Glen is clear that we trust God to do all things in us through Christ, although she is a bit hazy on the particulars of how that works out. Unfortunately, one of her greater oversights is the gospel of grace. To me, that is an unacceptable oversight. I would not recommend or repreat the study. The effort of the individual in sanctification is given greater emphasis than the work of Christ. Our daily undeservedness of God's mercy is somewhat glossed over in favor of a bit of self-esteem teaching. In addition, her anthropology is overly simplistic and could tend toward Gnosticism. She makes it clear in her video that she does not take it as far as true gnosticism, but someone who only read the book could be left a bit uncertain. In general, Glenn arrives at very Christian conclusions, but takes a few strange routes to get there. She is not a scholar or a philosopher and so her teaching is somewhat sloppy theologically. Denise Glenn is obviously a woman who deeply loves the Lord and sincerely wants to enable mothers to daily abide in the life of Christ. However in this study, she attempts to write a primmer on spiritual life and the subject is beyond her realm of expertise. In the following, I hope to clarify some of the greatest difficulties with the study, in order that those who read or facilitate it can be aware of potential pitfalls and errors that may arise from it.

As preface to why I am so painstaking in my critique of this study, we must understand why teaching the Word of God ought to be taken seriously and with much fear and trembling. Imagine how carefully a Roman slave would have spoken of her master, trembling lest any word imply ill of the one who held her life in His hands. Think of how lovingly you know you ought to speak of your spouse, every word filled with adoration as it was on your wedding day. These two images together begin to give us a picture of how we ought to desire to speak of our Lord: carefully, adoringly. James 3:1states “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.” Any teacher ought to be held accountable for their words, especially a teacher of the Word! This does not mean we may freely criticize teachers without love and respect, but we may not excuse careless words with a wave of the “oh, I am sure she meant that” magic hand. A teacher of God’s Holy Word must strive earnestly to say what she means and mean what she says. All believers are expected to grow earnestly in rightly dividing the Word of Truth, but an official teacher must be all the more accountable for what she says, even if she is “just teaching women”. Any and every teacher must articulate the message of the Bible carefully and as accurately as possible.

Hebrews 2:1-4 - For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it. 2 For if the word spoken through angels proved unalterable, and every transgression and disobedience received a just penalty, 3 how will we escape if we neglect so great a salvation? After it was at the first spoken through the Lord, it was confirmed to us by those who heard, 4 God also testifying with them, both by signs and wonders and by various miracles and by gifts of the Holy Spirit according to His own will.

Of course a teacher may use other words than the Bible uses, otherwise we would just walk around quoting the Bible and speaking nothing else. God’s Word certainly needs to be presented afresh for every generation and group of people. However, the meaning of what a teacher presents must match the meaning of God’s Word. If Bible says a+b=c then what a teacher says must also mean a+b=c. Words are very important; each one has specific denotations and connotations. Although there is unavoidable subjectivism involved in teacher to student communication and ultimately we rely on the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to Truth, still a teacher must be precise as possible and certainly accountable to answer for her words. I critique this study fully desirous that it might be improved upon by Glenn herself or individual churches facilitating the study and that Glenn's ministry to mothers might deepen and grow.

The General Difficulty

In order to understand the greatest difficulty in Motherwise: Freedom for Mothers, one must be clear that it presumes to present the Gospel to mothers. It is a primer on the Christian life. It presents itself as instructing mothers how to live out the Gospel. If the Gospel is then not sufficiently present, it is not enough to answer that the Gospel was assumed to be understood. If someone asks a believer how to be free from there sins, what ought they to answer? The Gospel! Denise Glenn is very clear that she is teaching how we as mothers can be free from sin and to abide in Christ. The whole of the book presumes to teach the Gospel, the good news of the freedom from sin and the eternal life we have in Christ by faith, as a daily reality for mothers. The book follows the following basic outline. Glenn appeals to mother’s felt needs for redemption in life, she shows the sickness of sin and the flesh and then says she will teach you how to be free of it. That is what Christ came to do, correct? That is the Gospel, correct?

I first consciously noted trouble with the study in Unit 5, beginning on pg 132. However, as I have poured back over the study, Glenn had clearly established what I hope to show is a misguided pattern for spiritual life beginning in Unit 1. Consider the sentence from pg 24 “If you will come to God hungry and ready to be filled up with what He can give you, you’ll be amazed at what He will do.” At first glance this sounds ok, right? However, it is imbedded with a subtle form of legalism. Note that I bring myself, hungry and ready, to God. The Bible is clear that it takes a miraculous act of God to make our stony hearts hungry for God. If you are hungry for God, He has already been with you long before you came to Him. The entire study follows the formula “If I do, then God can”. The focus of this formula is my work. My work in sanctification is prior to God's work. Glen very often repeats that it is Christ doing all things through me, but after she makes that affirmation, much of the rest of the study negates it. The focus of the study is what I do to get free. I align myself with the life of Christ so that it can flow through me. The Bible focuses more on grasping by faith what Christ did to make me free. What I see significantly lacking in Glen's study is a focus on the grace and mercy of God which works in us through faith, so that the Giver is glorified. I am a totally undeserving blessed recipient. The formula of God’s revealed Word is “What did God do. Respond with living faith.” It is a Gospel of Grace. The words "grace " and "mercy" are hardly ever mentioned in the entire study.

If Paul had to publicly rebuke Peter for falling into legalism, than we too, in our self-sufficient American culture, ought to tread carefully and not be arrogant in thinking that since we are not Catholic, therefore we are immune to the heresy of works-righteousness. Indeed, I would say that our culture is more than ripe for this error. However, I do not have the time or space to make social or ecclesiastical commentary, I only say that we ought not to be surprised at all if a legalistic teaching slipped into an Bible church. It is more of a generational disease in evangelicalism than the average church attendee ever imagined.